Posts by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

1

"Mormons" ("royals" by Lorde) parody

by stuckinarut2 in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpwwmvzjjxe.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

"And everybody's like: piercings, tattoos, coffee in the morning. Short skirts, curse words, no missions or good works. And we don't care... And every Mormon's like: pure heart, white shirt, clean music and media. Fun times, no crime, chastity and lots of kids."

Yes, dears. Because us coffee drinkers with pierced ears and a tendency to cuss when frustrated are completely incapable of good works and a pure heart.

Scratch that. I know exactly what my heart is like. And it's blacker than my coffee.

C*nts.

22

Damon Wayans was apparently at 2017 Annual Meeting

by Richard_I in

jw
friends

from this post on reddit.com/r/exjw, damon wayans was at the 2017 annual meeting.

the wayans were raised as jw's but i don't think any of them stated.. strange to see him here.

this is the same man who defended bill cosby from all the sex abuse allegations..

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

This all makes sense now. Back in the late 90s when Jenna Jameson graduated from stripping at the Crazy Horse Too club in Vegas and made it onto the adult film scene, her stripper pal Nikki Tyler and her would hit the town. A lot. This is what Jenna said about her only ever encounter with Damon (below). Damon sounds like every young brother who is so desperate to "sin", but will only ever skirt close to the edge (I know of plenty). You can look, but you can't touch, kind of thing

Me and my girlfriend (Nikki) were in Las Vegas when they decided to attend a hip-hop club. "We were the only white people in the place and we were so fucked up we didn't care and because we didn't care, no one else seemed to mind either. Not long after we arrived, I spotted actor/comedian Damon Wayans sitting on a couch looking fine as hell. Nikki and I walked over to him and sat down on each side of him. We started blathering nonsensical drunk talk. When we started dancing for him, he was remarkably laid-back considering how out of control we were. "Damn, he said to me. "Look at that body." "But I don't have a butt," I protested. "You've got enough ass for me, he said. We ended up jumping in his limo and going to his suite at the Bellagio. Nikki and I flopped down on his bed and started making out while he sat there coolly and watched. I'm rarely forward but I had been mixing alcohol with pills so I was feeling frisky. I looked up and him and demanded, "Kiss me." "I can't," he said. "That's just not me. "You know you want to," I persisted. "You have no idea how much I want to." "Then kiss me." I crawled to the edge of the bed and his face met mine halfway. All we did was kiss. Immediately afterward, Nikki and I got up, left the room and stumbled out of the hotel.

Pictured below around the same year, Jenna on the left, Nikki on the right:

130

2017 Annual Meeting

by Jules Saturn in

this just in from the 2017 annual meeting:.

1. watchtowers and awakes won't be released regularly, at least three watchtower and awakes per year.

6 magazines a year.. 2. a new book is being released: remain in god's love, more of an update like how they did for the what does the bible really teach book.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

@Jules Saturn Well, gosh. Wouldn't that be nice for many brothers and sisters living in the Western world. What a light and breezy tribulation this is! ;)

16

Trivial stuff about the AGM

by sir82 in

jw
friends

lots of good comments already about the content of saturday's agm broadcast.. i just thought i'd add my (trivial!

) comments about the magnificent 7:.

-- loesch - was he intentionally trying to be boring?

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

@OneEyedJoe Lol. Stephen Lett is like Tang. He's dry and orange and nobody's given a f*ck about him since 1968.

37

Do They Still do Door-to-Door as Much as Before?

by cofty in

since the advent of the trolleys do the majority of jws still go door to door like we used to?.

do they still have meetings for field service on sat mornings and sun afternoons where most head off to the local territory while one or two go to do trolley work or has the importance of door to door work reduced?.

with the reduction of printing wts and awakes what will they offer at the doors?.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

@pale.emperor If the staff were doing that, the business would be moving along with the same speed as the WT organization.

Backwards.

16

Just overheard this after meeting . . .

by neat blue dog in

the annual meeting just finished, and here's a conversation i overheard from two gushing jws:.

sister:.

they said we're so close!.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

You should have just said, "Maybe they'll re-release the Millions Now Living Will Never Die booklet from 97 years ago."

To paraphrase essayist and philosopher, George Santayana: Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

37

Do They Still do Door-to-Door as Much as Before?

by cofty in

since the advent of the trolleys do the majority of jws still go door to door like we used to?.

do they still have meetings for field service on sat mornings and sun afternoons where most head off to the local territory while one or two go to do trolley work or has the importance of door to door work reduced?.

with the reduction of printing wts and awakes what will they offer at the doors?.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

The Regular Pioneers are desperate. I caught up with my mother at the mall and she brought along her friend, a sister. While my kid was playing on one of those mechanical cars, I asked my mother to watch him so I could grab a few things from the supermarket. When I came out, her friend was talking to two women (strangers) nearby. "She's giving a Witness," my mother whispered. Cool. When it came time for the ladies to extract themselves from my mother's friend and her pesky little iPad, I told my mother I needed to go back to her house to collect some mail. She said, "okay, but first I have to give some magazines to the locksmith over there. Your father used to call on him a while ago." My mother's friend said, "no. Save him for tomorrow. I just showed the two women the Website, so we are still counting our time."

Pathetic. Always on a timetable. Always focusing on the hours and all personal interest is lost. You know that new Kingdom Melody song lyric, "it's the person, not the face"? I beg to differ. "It's the hours that you get, it's a never ending threat..."

20

In memory of a lost doctrine - the vindication of Jehovah's name

by slimboyfat in

i start this thread in response to a comment by a jw apologist called simonsays on another thread.

he claimed to have read all three volumes of vindication by rutherford (my sympathy if true).

he further implied that it didn't matter that old jw literature said wrong and stupid things, saying:.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

Ah, yes. Vindication - a masterpiece by a misogynistic alcoholic. Rutherford had this crackpot theory that Mother's Day stemmed from an elaborate conspiracy by Satan to deflect "special honor and worship" away from Jehovah and toward women. Apparently, Satan's first orders of business on being ousted from heaven in 1914 was to influence world leaders to tell their mommies they loved them on a special day. It's genius! What a demonic way for Satan to get ready for his smackdown with God at Armaggedon. If only Satan had known he'd have over a hundred years (and counting) to toy with, he wouldn't have been in such a rush to pull out this trump card.

16

Do JWs wonder why never converted someone that knows the Bible?

by Counter-Watchtower in

my experience with jws that came to my house started me on a journey of learning the truth about "jehovah's organization".

it didnt take long for me to stump them with bible questions that show what jw org teaches is not biblically accurate.

i hope when i lay on them 6 pages of their history (which will later be a counter-watchtower magazine) the light will come on when they read about pyramids and see photos.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

@Counter-Watchtower That's really admirable, but please know that the love and friendship you have with these Jehovah's Witnesses is very conditional. They are associating with you because they believe they have a chance of recruiting you. The second you reveal your intentions to wake them up to their doctrinal errors, or even just simply say you're no longer interested in studying the Bible with them but would love to just hang out/catch up regularly, they will make an exit from your life as quickly as they entered it. Jehovah's Witnesses are very strict about their associates, and if you're "worldly" - or worse - "opposed", they will be steering clear of you. If this does happen, please do not take it personally or feel jilted by your new friends. This is how they have been conditioned to behave toward fellow human beings... even if it is their own flesh and blood.

10

What The Bible Says About War (Awake 2017 Issue No. 5)

by Divergent in

jw
friends

https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/awake-no5-2017-october/what-bible-says-about-war/.

the bible's viewpoint .

war.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

@Counter-Watchtower When it comes to conscription, alternative service and abiding with governmental authorities, the WT leadership has at times flip-flopped on the matter, and downright spoken out of both sides of its mouth for different JW branches across the globe, resulting in the unnecessary torture, incarceration and deaths of Witnesses simply following their religious leaders' orders. Please watch from 12:00 of this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqYUCV4FHI4